This post will contain large torrents of harsh language and imagry, reader discression advised.
So this is going to be a short one, I had to take a break from my Mirror's Edge play-through due to a crashing issue that apparently has something to do with PhysX but doesn't seem to be solved through turning it off. New drivers are taking forever to download, nVidia's file host appears to be an old AOL email server or a TI-83 calculator.
Killing time at work today, I noticed that Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 was having a free multiplayer weekend. So I started the install from my phone (FUCKING FUTURE MAN!) and used it to kill some time while waiting for my drivers to get done.
Jesus titty-fucking Christ that was a terrible idea. I used to think CoD multiplayer was kind of fun in an arcade sense. A mindless way to kill some time and some virtual soldiers. The last CoD I played a lot of the actual multiplayer of was MW2, I did some on Blops 1 but it was mostly MW2. This is some sort of devil spawn of every bad idea that has ever plagued a shooter all rolled into one steamy cluster-fuck of awful.
The installation took fucking ages. I thought after I had it downloaded I would just click play and it would go. Nope, it had to install a "new" directx, (it was 9c, you know the one that was last touched in 2004?) and a new set of C++ Redist files that I already had, the exact version, both the x64 and the x86 versions. Total time from clicking "play" after the download was done to the game actually starting = 20 mins I shit you not.
So I fix the resolution, turn the graphics on "high" and go. I get into the game and holy hell, the shit really hits the fan. The game runs at 60fps (v.sync) unless I aim down the sights and then it's 20fps. And the fps only drops when I aim down the sights, explosions, shooting, smoke, all 60fps, "Need to aim? Fuck you, 20fps, have fun asshole." Fixed mostly by turning wonky FFSA off. But that's not the worst part, the actual game, provided you ever get it running is an abomination of shooters.
The arenas are now circles with random spawn points. I got killed by people behind me for 80% of my deaths. I would spawn, run some distance in some direction, get gunned down from behind. Respawn at a point close to my previous respawn, go in a different direction, get gunned down from behind. Respawn, shot in the back, respawn, shot in the back. I thought it was just the map I was playing on, some train station. Picked a different map with different rules. Same shit, circle level, random spawns. There's no direction, there's no front line, there's no team strategy, there's no nothing, it's down to shear luck, if you manage to run into someone who's not paying attention. It's like the game is designed to make people rage. The levels are purposefully designed to make the enemy kill you in the cheapest way possible. And all of the models look exactly the same. Your teammates look exactly like you and exactly like the enemy. I had no idea who was my friend or enemy until I noticed if they had a name above them or they shot me in the face. I finally figured out the difference between the two teams, if you look really hard at the models, one of the team's have a blue tinged under shirt and the others have a greenish looking one.
I have never played FPS multiplayer this bad, it is abysmally bad, it's every bad thing that ever made it into FPS multiplayer rolled into one, it's so bad that the only way something this bad could be made would be intentionally. They must have sat down at a meeting and bet each other how bad they could make the multiplayer suck and still have the fanboys defending the game, it is the only way I can fathom why so many fucking bad ideas made it to production.
It could have been good too, just look at Blacklight: Retribution, that game is free and it's everything CoD multiplayer should be. But it's not, CoD is a pile of things not worth to be called trash. I fucking hate you and everything you've done to gaming CoD, just go die in a ditch already.
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